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Friending-Relatives

Friending-Relatives?

Your Relatives on FaceBook:
To Friend or not to Friend -a serious matter.

Open-Mind-Networking part two. A sensitive matter for all. Is there a solution to this social-networking issue? If there is, what do we do? Here's what I think!

Friending Your Relatives?

Two words: No guilt.

You do NOT have to become friends with ALL your relatives.

This is something that I've got to address. We often fall into the "because....I MUST" category out of the guilt of blood-ties (or through marriages). Follow the guidelines and, especially, your gut. If you do not normally socialize with this relative in "reality" because you are halfway across the world from each other, for example, and have almost nothing in common, OR, you don't even like this person and know that (s)he is a gossip, etc, you shouldn't even think twice: do not add this person or accept their friend request. If you do not get along in the real "interactive" world, it's very likely that adding each other will turn out to be -rather- annoying to both of you and to other relatives on both parties' friend lists.

Now, you must also keep in mind not to take it personally if your teenage sons and daughters do not wish to be your friends on social networks. Many feel this fits the "too close for comfort" category. This also goes for bosses, colleagues who are after the same promotions at work, employees who are on a "watch out" list, and parental units. But just because you do not add or accept a friend request doesn't mean you make yourself their enemy and vice versa. If such people demand an answer why you do not want to be "social-networking" with them on the Internet, you can honestly and politely explain that you are already "interactive" with them in the real world and do not wish to be redundant in the "fake" world. To parents, you can say that there are matters you would like to keep private (from them). They don't have to like what you say, but if they continue to pester you "offline" to join their "online" networks, how well do you think it will end if you let them into "your" cyber "space?"

One suggestion I'd like to offer is to create friend categories and to start moving "friends" into appropriate groups according to where you see them fit. Then, go to all your applications, photos, videos, links, status and comment updates, and apply rules regarding allowing whom-to-see-what you post. Depending upon how active you are on your network this can take a long time, but let me tell you it is so well worth the effort. Apply proper preventive measures so that you don't have to hurt anyone's feelings. What they don't see, they don't know. You are not deceiving anyone, but simply being responsible by sharing certain information with only selected groups of "friends."

Perhaps I am old-fashioned, but I truly believe that in order to communicate with each other we need to establish a real social situation in "real life," "real" time, and in reality. Once we have developed a good rapport , we can then take that onto the Internet, or anywhere. Our popularity is not determined by how many friends we have on our social network profiles, but, rather by how much we allow ourselves to know "who we really are." We can then take that next step by accepting that "not everyone has to like who we are."

As far as online behavior goes, the bottom line is to go by your rules without worrying about being judged. It's typical human behavior to judge, and we cannot control other people. But do believe that this is your space and you have to feel comfortable within it. Just remember to be firm with yourself abut not crossing into other people's.

Enjoy happy, healthy, and pain-free social-networking!

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La CoffeeMelodie Suite

About us

We are an American father who has lived many years in Thailand, a Thai mother who has lived many years in the United States, and four children- the eldest born in America- who spent the first parts of their lives in Thailand and then moved to the USA. This multiculturalism provides a unique perspective and affords each of us the opportunity to approach things from new directions.

We follow our hearts wherever they take us. We also believe in sharing. If another is enriched then so, too, are we, for the betterment of one is the betterment of us all. We share our ideas, thoughts, knowledge and opinions with the hope that others will find value in them, as well as in the hope that they will pay it forward to make the world a continually better place.

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