Can I ask you a question?

Saving English One Word At A Time.


An English tutoring column by Ralph Schatzki who would like you to join him in the task of saving the language, step-by-step, word-by-word, one person at a time.

Uh, yes....you just did.

Seriously: there are a couple of issues here. The distinction between "can" and "may" is not difficult. The first word asks whether or not one has the ability, the second whether or not someone has permission. For instance, if a child asks his parents for permission to stay up, he says "May I stay up late?" The parents, wondering if he can keep his eyes open late into the night, might answer "Yes, if you can." Or, at a restaurant, if someone asks "Can I have the last appetizer?" a proper response might be "Of course- but I'd like it, too."

Precision in language is always advisable, of course, yet if you know what someone means to say- whether because of common word usage or past history or circumstance- it is often considered bad form to act as if he means what he says: To grab the last fried zucchini off the plate, at the same time answering your dinner partner's question with, "Yes, but you're too late, ha-ha!" might not get you another dinner invitation. On the other hand, if you're dealing with someone whom you are teaching- your child, or a student, for example- it might be worthwhile to expound on the distinction between different words.

It reminds me of the numerous times when students in my classroom would ask, "Can I ask you a question?" My response was always, "You just did." Inevitably, the next utterance would be, "Can I ask you another question?" I would smile and chuckle and say, feigning sheepshness, "Uh...you just did." At this point there was always a long pause, and I could sense the student trying to figure out how actually to get answered the question he wanted to ask. Finally, "Can I ask two more questions?" The whole class, now, would laugh- partly because it was following along, and partly because it anticipated my response: "Yes- you have one left."

Now, it must be pointed out that I dealt with students who were sometimes bored in the classroom, not to mention that English was- for most of them- their second language. I don't advise acting so pompous in most circumstances. Know your audience! In fact, even when dealing with students it is sometimes inappropriate to expect too much. In the movie Avalon, there is a scene where the teacher is explaining the difference between "can" and "may," but a student isn't paying attention because he desperately has to go to the bathroom. When he asks, "Can I go to the bathroom, please," it makes for a humorous, if uncomfortable, scene.

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